Perhaps I was not always the best parent.
You have to remember how fast the money came in. I am not trying to be vulgar, but we went from renting, to owning a house twice the size in eighteen months. We could buy any food we wanted from the supermarket, rather than eking out a budget on the value range. This was freedom.
And I wanted some of that freedom for myself. Not to exclude Archie in any deliberate sense, but I had worked so hard. The party invites, the book readings, the interviews. They involved travel. Hotel trips.
Just because I had to leave the home does not mean I ignored what was there.
And it did not stop the previous raw effort. The sacrifices. The difficulty of every day.
If something had happened, he would have come to me. Even now, when the creature is advancing, his safety is still my first thought. I would throw myself towards those claws, and try to offe
::Sorry Barbara, I know I need to get to the point.::
The deer to my left vanished, like something sucked up the ground from underneath her. This destroyed my beautiful photographic tableaux. The remainders joined together, heading across the field like zebras across the Serengeti. A shape buzzed after them, and yet the grass did not whisper.
I was not sure whether to run after, or run away. Either way there was no stopping what was happening. The laughter.
Another deer vanished into the ground.
And I had to shout then, because it was the only option left. I shouted, and for some reason tried to rip up the grass.
Then the ground rose up. And it still had a mangled hoof clutched in one claw. It reached forward, and the tee
‘I will come back for you.’
The words emerged from a hole below a tree. And the words were like smoke.
We've done a lot of forest walks this year. But what is so amazing about Deórfald is that you get to see such wonderful animals up close.
Respect must be your watchword, but bring your family for a great day out.
Bring your son, because there may be a time when you can no longer watch the deer together.
::So Barbara.
So.
Writing this out has been cathartic. But I am sure just by looking at the picture you can understand my worries.
I'm in a different state now. I cannot say I am not scared. But there's something else. A thrumming desperation underneath. It's like I am stuck against the wall of a cave, and I know the bear is coming. I have to get out. Aggression may be needed.
Moon close to full tonight. I’ve put a basket of clothes against the door.::
