I wasn’t going to do another interview this week, but the guy we had in this afternoon slugged the cheap bottled lager I’ve had in the back for ages, and asked if I’d make him a sandwich. Between bites he chatted and chatted and chatted. He has worked as a mechanic on loads of ships, and was a compendium of anecdotes. One in particular, from the deserts of Hypatia, stood out.
The Guy’s name was Gui. He shrugged when I asked permission to write up his story.
G: ‘It’s not like plants are all passive creatures. They have survived across the universe for millions of years, through all sorts of crazy ecological shit, and something as random as a load of dead people pottering around is not going to finish them off. Thorns, bark, spice, these things evolved for a reason, you know what I mean?
Hypatia is brutal. Constant heat and acres of sand. Before the Haircut there were three forms of life. A couple of thousand colonists, determined to mine the places for resources. Some horrible grey lizard things with venomous bites. And the cacti.
These fuckers were unbelievable. Some had spines as long as your arm. You could snap them off, and use them as an offensive weapon. The people living there drilled holes between the spikes, and drank and washed with the liquid inside.
When those people died, and got back up again, they headed straight for the cacti. If your only desire is to eat plants, you have one choice on Hypatia. Now the whole planet looks like appetisers on cocktail sticks. The lucky ones get pierced through the head. Others hang there for years, inches from that tasty green flesh.
The Butter Mice fly over every so often, but never get lower than the clouds. This is a classic example of a planet at the bottom of the list. For now, nature has taken its course.’
Bloody hell. I am used to dark stuff after the Haircut, but those were people once. Imagine having to spend your days impaled on a spike with lizards nipping at your feet.
Back to cocktail recipes next week, and I am glad.
